In July of 2022, Ashima discovered a significant, firm mass in her right breast, marking a pivotal moment in her life. At the age of 41, Ashima faced a diagnosis of stage 3 ER+ invasive grade 3 breast cancer, a revelation that stirred deep emotions, for her family history bore the weight of this affliction. Unlike the reassuring notion that it need not be a concern if not on the maternal side, the presence of the BRCA2 gene was revealed.

Having witnessed the silent battles of her paternal grandma and aunt with breast cancer in her youth, Ashima recognized the societal hesitance to discuss such matters within the South Asian community. Despite prevailing stigmas, her self-awareness prompted regular self-examinations, leading to the early discovery of the lump that altered her life trajectory. Motivated by a desire to break the silence, Ashima aimed to initiate open conversations about breast cancer within her family, particularly emphasizing the importance for South Asian women to be vigilant about their health and family history.

The moment of diagnosis brought devastation and heartbreak, but Ashima masked her vulnerability with a facade of false bravery, influenced by cultural norms that discouraged open emotional expression. Balancing the weight of responsibility for her family, Ashima navigated the challenges with a sense of duty, concealing her fears and struggles beneath a veneer of strength.

In her attempt to be the pillar of strength for others, Ashima unintentionally perpetuated toxic positivity, concealing the emotional turmoil within. Grateful for her supportive family, Ashima found it challenging to articulate her innermost feelings, driven by a sense of responsibility and fear of burdening them. Despite the love and care she received, the unspoken truth of her vulnerability persisted.

Reflecting on the experience, Ashima emphasized the importance of authenticity in facing the realities of a breast cancer diagnosis. Acknowledging the variations in each day’s emotional landscape, she encouraged others to embrace vulnerability and express genuine feelings. Dispelling the myth of toxic positivity, Ashimareminded those going through similar challenges that self-care is paramount, and it’s acceptable not to be okay. In her words, “It’s ok to be vulnerable and express your true feelings — ‘It’s ok to not be ok.”

The research funded by Breast Cancer Canada focuses on improving techniques for breast cancer screening and detection. With your help, we can learn more about breast cancer. And that helps us detect it earlier and treat it better for patients like Ashima.